The Quarter

Dad?

Yes Boy Child

I need a New Mexico Quarter

Hmmm....ok, Doesn't Girl Child already have New Mexico, I thought the only one she was missing is Hawaii

Well yes, but this kid at school has a Hawaii, if I get him a New Mexico he will give it to me and I can give the Hawaii Quarter to Girl Child for christmas.

{Insert Long Pause, Deep Breath, Misty eyes Here}

I'm sure we can track down a New Mexico quarter for you.

(Come Hell or High Water !!!!! :-) )

P.O.T.U.S.

Election day arrives.

It has been and interesting election cycle, full of hope and fear.

This year has been full of energy, candidates that have both emboldened people who have never voted and galvanized people towards long held beliefs.

I will vote after I pick up the girl child. She has accompanied me to vote several times in the last 12 years. She is interested and enlivened by the process.

I find a great deal of hope in this fact.

Now, stop reading this and go vote.

40

I turn 40 today.

Many people have asked what that means to me. It is interesting, as I don't see much change. I have never been one to make a big deal out of birthdays.

More than marking the passage of time for me, they have always seemed as a reminder. A reminder of the day this incarnation began, that moment when the beginning of this road was found.

I have enjoyed the road so far, I don't know how long this one is, my intention is to greet each new day and be present for whatever it may bring.

My hope and desire is to have many sunrises and sunsets, many energetic moments that, at the end of the road, come together to form a whole that I can look back on with happiness, knowing that I got the most out of every single day.

The Facts Of Life

Life is not fair.

No one is exempt from death.

Physics rules the universe and biology rules life.

The universe does not care.

The only constant in life is change.

There is always a choice.

Wishing never makes it so.

A person can't exceed their limits.

A person is responsible for their own happiness.

It is impossible to change the character of another.

Jury Duty

I had jury duty for the first time yesterday. It was an interesting experience. On one side you have what I think is the standard reaction, the desire to get out of it, the hope that you will not be called, the shuffling of a life for a day or two.

On the other hand I was intrigued. In 21 years of being available to do this small service this was the first time and I was intrigued.

There were two things that I found surprising. First, the number who turned out. From 100 people called on the day I was, 52 showed up. I found that surprising, as not showing up for jury duty never entered my conciousness, partly from fear of large uniformed gentleman with guns showing up at my door who took offense at my not following the summons.

The second thing that surprised me was just how grateful everyone was. From the clerks who kept the coffee pot full, the attorneys who thanked us after initial jury selection in a DUI case was settled once the defendant was faced with the fact of a jury and the two judges, who took time out of thier overtly busy days to come down and thank us for serving.

It was an interesting day, if you get the call, serve, our government asks very little of us, perhaps too little, if to live, work and strive for freedom and happiness, in this great country we are asked once in awhile to give up a few days to participate in one of the fundemental foundations of our country....do it, you will not be sorry.

The Project

So, the master bathroom has hideous small pinkish tiles, that must now be replaced. New tile was chosen last weekend so demolition began yesterday afternoon. A slow but not difficult process, pull up the carpet to get to the tile edge, (Yes I know, who the hell puts carpet in a bathroom, not us, came that way) big flathead screwdriver, hammer and a contractor bag. Initial demo went easily as the wood underneath is...well...not really wood so much now as a moist cardboard, hehe.

So sitting on the floor popping off these little tiles the boy and girl child show up, we want to help, ok, go get another hammer and screwdriver. The girl child pop's a few tiles off, ok, by, hehe, well I can't really blame her. The boy child tackles the tack strips from the old carpet, I tell him to be careful, they bite, he is and does a good job, no pokes or blood, a good thing.

I go take a break, read this as take 20min to check auctions and do a quick quest in WoW, hehe. Come back to the bathroom and the boy child has been busy, happily sitting in the tub with his hammer and screwdriver, popping off the offensive little pink tiles, having a good ole' time.

Ahhh....destruction can bring a father and son together....hehe.

Thought For The Day

You Can't Find What You Love, While Doing What You Like

37 No's, 1 Yes

Ok, so last December the wife and I are doing the santa thing, looking for a gift for both of the kids, how about a Wii, sounds good, only of course every other santa had the same idea so no Wii for xmas.

Flash forward too 3 days ago, "the kids had a really good year, excellent report cards, we should do something special for them"

And so the quest began. It was easy at xmas to simply give up to the inevitable impossibility of finding one. Self, I thought, its June, Wii's should simply fall out of the sky now.

"Electronics's Please" "Hi there, do you have any Wii game system's in stock"......."No

Hmmm....it's June, Must be a fluke.

After calling every Target, Walmart, Circuit City, EB Games and Sears in the County, 37 calls to be exact.....I was about to give up "Perhaps it will make a nice Halloween surprise".

Ok, one more call, I'll try Blockbuster. "Hi there, would you happen to have any Wii game systems in stock".......Yes. "Hold it for me I'll be there in 10min.

Turns out they had gotten 4 in an hour before I called, and I got the last one.

So after the friends from the last day of school swim and feast left, I placed the Wii on the kitchen counter, and went back to watching TV. The boy child discovered it, he was....pleased....to say the least.

After a quick set up they were bowling and golfing in the living room, laughing and giving each other a hard time. Summer begins, quest.....complete.

Graduation

Last night the girl child "graduated" from elementary school. I am of two minds on this. One, oh please it's elementary school, we didn't have graduation ceremonies when I was a kid.

And then there is the father in me, the one watching his daughter smile on the stage as she gets one of four awards for the top students in the school, holding her trophy, smiling, standing with 3 girls that have been her friends since first grade. She wears a $200.00 dress her grandmother bought her, yes I know, a bit excessive for a 12 year old, but I am an only child and mom never had a girl so....we indulge, hehe.

She has never gotten a B on a report card, never been in trouble and is a simply, wonderful kid.

My mom called last night after the ceremony, the girl child was at her first dance, sigh. Mom called and said congratulations....to you, you and the wife are doing a simply wonderful job with the kids. Yeah...I got choked up too.

Summer begins tomorrow, today the last day of school, both kids having a few friends over to loiter in the pool and have pizza. A good, simple day it is.

Key Lab

The boy child this morning, after having his waffle and milk, watching transformers and half of Stormhawks, shuffled off the couch to get ready for school. 5 min later he comes back out, black jeans, black T-shirt with a gray stylized skull on the front. Ahhhh....key lab day. Now key lab is music, piano to be exact, every 6 days it pops up in the rotation, I can never keep it straight as to what activity he has each day as the rotation is every 6 days and it is simply too much to compute at 6am. However, when he comes out of his room dressed all in black i know that it is...key lab day.

He informed his mother and I a few months ago that as he loathes key lab, ergo he chooses to wear all black on the days it shows up. He does well in it, but he protests against the inhumane treatment in a positive way, showing his ire through the choice of his clothes.

I love that he wears black on Key Lab day.

W.o.W.

Or World of Warcraft. Ok, so I have been into computer games for a long long time, lets see I got my Atari 2600 at....9, then Commodore 64 (Ultima II Quest of the Avatar) Yes i became an Avatar, hehe. Then Nintendo's, Sega's, 3DO, XBOX and various computer's (A new one about every 2 years). I've played Zork, gotten the visceral thrill of the kill in Rune...(God I loved this game), The snipered head shots in Unreal Tournament, (Yes that was me hiding up in the rafters), three years ago, after reading all the hype, hearing that it was unlike anything else, i said ok, what can 30 days hurt, I'll give it a try.

Now, 3 years later I still play almost daily. Had you asked me then if I thought I would be playing the same game 3 years from now I would have laughed at you. But now, with three years, numerous patches, one expansion down and another on the way, I realize that it is simply digital crack, that once you start it is quite literally impossible to stop, i really believe that they will have to shut the servers down for me to ever stop playing in some form.

Would I call it a hobby, yes I suppose I would, it is definitely recreation, but it is also about...control. With life being as it will, a hectic, energetic, stress and joy filled thing, WoW for me is an...oasis...a place I can go for an hour or so and choose exactly what I want to do, I can fish, i can pick flowers, i can kill demons, i can joke with people in guild chat, accrue huge amounts of money or go watch a sunset. There are no real rewards from this, it is in the end a game. Over the last three years have I used this game as an escape...yes...have I spent more time playing it than living life...yes...have I learned that lesson...yes. For awhile the game was not about relaxing and enjoyment, it was simply easier to be there than real life. Now, thankfully, it has gotten back to being simply fun, it is a game after all and in the end should be...fun.

Both of the kids rolled toons, both played a bit, the girl child lost interest quickly, the boy child lasted a bit longer, in the end the wife and kids understand that it is something I enjoy and something that is now easy to turn off and come back to another day, for virtual fun is fine, but fun in the real world is....better.

Alone

Driving home the other day i was stopped at a light, it was 4ish and there was a lone girl, 14ish standing at the corner waiting for the walk signal, she caught my attention because of the slope of her shoulders, chin on her chest, eyes downcast, she seemed sad at first glance.

As I waited a beat up blue Hyundai drove by turning away from her, there was a beep and i looked up and saw the teenage girl passenger of this car flick the standing girl the bird. Standing girl looked up because of the horn, saw the finger...and there was no reaction.

The signal came on and she shuffled across the intersection and I made my turn, but she stuck with me. Thinking of it she was not sad but...alone. I hope this was something that ended for her when her walk home was complete, that she was able to shake this off and turn into a bright and happy girl who is loved and noticed at home.

As for the girl passenger of the car...hopefully she never has feel the hurt she caused...for no reason....at all.

Middle School

Last night was middle school orientation for the girl child. It was...interesting. My memories of elementary school are...cloudy at best; over the last 6 years she and the boy child who is three years younger, have been going to elementary school i have not waxed about my school days as the frame of reference was not present. Sitting in the middle school gym last night on those..."order the hardest most uncomfortable" bleachers, watching the orchestra play, the chorus sing, the band perform it hit me that she...and by association, the boy child will....grow up.

It is not that I was in denial of this, far from it, i have had a balanced attitude towards the kids growing up since the day they were born, the balance consists on one hand simply reveling in the wonder of watching two little people become...who they will be, it is magic and something not to be missed. The other side of the balance is...the countdown to college when they go away and I and my wife get our lives back...hehe.

Being at the middle school (Which is so un-cool compared to Jr. High as it was when i went school) provided an interesting moment of symetry, where my daughter goes...i have been, the world different now but the path's...so very similar. It was comforting to find that she has reached this milestone, to know that I and my wife have gotten her through the first 12 years fairly unscathed, that she has...reached a bit of a peak, and now the climb changes, she moves from childhood into...that gray area of time where we become...us. I enjoyed this transition myself, it was easy for me, i hope to help make it the same....for her.

Neil Armstrong

We have salt water fish at home, well to be honest we had a tank filled with salt water and rocks, the last fish died a few weeks ago and the forlorn tank kind of sat there for awhile. I finally got the energy to clean the tank rinse the rocks etc....then off to the fish store, water checked out good and so 4 fish came home, 3 are still alive, hehe. One of the survivors is a black and white damsel named Neil Armstrong by my son. He is 9 and has entered his space phase, astronaut is the new job choice, he has been happily devouring his newly acquired space encyclopedia and has been facinated by the Apollo program, ergo...Neil Armstrong.

Now then, Tuesday night science fair at school, the boy child pulls off first place 3rd grade life sciences div. Magnets was the theme, on the way home we start talking about next years project, once we get home he picks a dvd to watch, is it animated...no...is it by disney...no...it is the documentary Planet Earth which santa brought him last year.

So there you have today's musings, the boy child names fish after astronauts, wins science fairs and chooses documentaries to watch...it is a good day to be Dad.

So Far

The day moves ahead at an even pace, things are getting done, items checked off the list of things that need to be acomplished. There is a conversation i need to have sometime today, more of a request than a conversation, i know the outcome of the request but it is interesting how knowing we will get what we need can bring up personal costs, questions of our decisions, our honor, the rightness of our actions. Ah well, another tuesday.

Thursday

I have always found thursday to be an interesting day, the rubicon of the week crossed, now the slide into the weekend begins. Not as energetic as Friday with the anticipation of a few days off but still better than Mon-Wens, the anticpation begin's to build today, the rush to get x project complete, the planning for next week begins. Thursday is a good work day, not burdened by the wistfulness of having a day off the next day but also lighter as the week has begun it's wind down.

Thursday is and interesting day, as it really kind of exists in this week and the next.

The Ratio

The name of the blog, the golden ratio, sacred geometry, etc. The natural geometry of the universe, balance in form and function. Balance, the universe's natural state, abhorring vacuum's and such. Balance is easy to find, a challenge to maintain.

Through out my day i pivot on the center of the teeter toter (Of which you can find none anymore because they are "dangerous" pft.) One moment everything is flowing well, the next one side or the other has picked up weight and I try to get back the equilibrium. It's fluid, it is always interesting to me to see how a day will progress, what actions and reactions merge with each other to provide the level playing field or....the side of mount Everest.

Kids Movies You Can Stomach

Ok I admit it, I hate Barney, the big comfy couch makes my ass twitch, and the rugrats...ugh just grow up already. Now the nature of parenthood these days dictates that occaisonally your off spring will wish to flop on the couch and watch a movie with you. Here are a few that over the years have stuck out as ones both the kids and the big kids can watch with nary an ass twitch in sight.

http://www.amazon.com/Road-El-Dorado-Armand-Assante/dp/B00003CXG7/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1206644979&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Monsters-Inc-Two-Disc-Collectors-Angel/dp/B00005JKDR/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1206645675&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Iron-Giant-Special-Jennifer-Aniston/dp/B00009M9BK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1206645749&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Treasure-Planet-Roscoe-Lee-Browne/dp/B00005JLR2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1206645784&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000MRAAJM/ref=s9_asin_more-rfc_p_ktag_t2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=top-2&pf_rd_r=0CR525B1NN8KFVWDHTD0&pf_rd_t=301&pf_rd_p=328303901&pf_rd_i=treasure%20planet

Vanir

Thought you may appreciate where I got the name.

Vanir, One of the two clans of Norse gods. The Vanir comprised the gods of fertility and cultivation. I thought this to be a nice pen name for this as the blog is the fertile soil and I hope to cultivate something...worthwhile here.

Desire, Action & Creation

Creation, the act of bringing forth, or causing something to be born. There is much talk these days of...Secrets...of Deliberate Creation. First, it's not really a secret, it's a fundamental truth of the universe, everything is created, everyday each one of us create. Be it lunch for our kids, a blog post, a new life or a hard day for another, each and every one of us is a creator. Creation requires two things, desire and action. Many times there is one without the other, and we are left wondering why the outcome is not what we wished. It is simply because most of us do not have the desire to match our actions or the actions that will help create our desires are clouded in the cloak of fear.

I have often heard people say "I have been working like a dog and can't seem to get anywhere" I ask them "where are you going" this often gets me an odd look, but my question is simply what are you working for, what desire are you trying to create in your life. Not having a desire to match with your actions is like a hamster running on a wheel, you have the illusion of movement but there truly is none.

The other side of the equation is strong desire with no action. This one is more difficult than action without desire. This one is all about the monster in the closet, the unknown and often feared consequence of an action we know we should take to help create our desires. To those that find themselves in this space I simply ask, has making a hard decision, taking the action ever been as bad or scary or hurtful as you imagined it would be. Almost always the answer is...no.

We are here to live, to create, to evolve and become more. We are in the end limitless beings, if only we allow ourselves to be so, focus on our desires and take action to....create them.

Beginnings

A first venture into this wholly unique medium of expression. I know not if any shall find it interesting, funny or of any value at all. My hope is that someone, somewhere may find these ramblings of mine...helpful. I thank you in advance for stopping by my little part of the net.